My Wife is Hot even without hair!

So Now What?

I called Brad and Kristie and let them know the news.  (I refuse to say "bad" news because I will not let this little c take over my life.)  My obgyn's office was FANTASTIC in helping me with the next steps.  They found me a wonderful surgeon, Dr. Roxanne Weighall.  But getting in to see her over the holidays was not happening.  So I had to wait until January 6th to find out anything. So I waited. I hate waiting.  Brad and I chose not to tell the kids or anyone else untill we knew more.  I didn't have answers and really was trying to wrap my brain around it.

My friend Heather made some suggestions and I decided to see an alternative doctor about fighting the cancer both traditionally and naturally.  Brad and I went together and I really liked her also.  She put me on a very strict diet.  Basically the dirt and grass in my back yard.  I'm kidding but that is how I feel on most days.  Here is what I get to eat:  Chicken, vension, vegetables, and melon.  Isn't it soooooo exciting??  Why those?  Because everything else has sugar in it and sugar feeds cancer.  We are going to starve the cancer!!  (On a side note, after chemo I eat whatever I want because I wouldn't eat at all if I didn't.)  Her goal is to make my body healthy for treatment and also to help it fight the cancer on its own. 

Brad and Kristie went with me to the appointment to meet Dr. Weighall.  We all liked her a lot.  Her suggestion was chemotherapy and then a masectomy and reconstruction of my right breast.  You know that sound you hear on tv shows of the needle being scratched across a record?  Insert it here.  I stopped her mid sentence and kindly asked her why not a double mastocomy.  She said if that is what I want, I can have it.  Woo Hoo!!  New boobies!!  In all honesty though, I have hit my breaking point with breast cancer.  I lost my mother when she was 50 to it.  I have had mamograms yearly since I was 28.  I am a huge advocate for breast cancer research.  Now I have it.  I have two beautiful children and I am not having anymore.  I really am over having my real boobies at this point. Dr. Weighall referred me to oncologist Dr. Mark Romer.  Dr. Weighall also talked to me about putting a port in. What is a port?  Well, it is this little flat round thing that is in my chest on the left side that directly connects to a main vein.  They administer the chemo through it.  It's to save my veins.  You can't see it but you can feel it under the skin. It also is a topic that makes my sister have to leave the room to go sit on the floor in the bathroom of the doctors office and I have to lay down with a cold wet rag. We don't do good with blood or vein talk. 

Brad and Kristie went with me to meet Dr. Romer.  Good thing they did because I think between the three of us we might remember everything. (Yes I have a binder thanks to my friend Shannon and yes we write things down).  Dr. Romer is kind and patient and pretty damn good with patients.  He told me I was stage 2b.  He also said he was 99% sure I would be cancer free by the time I am done with chemo and ready for surgery.  He was the first person that I talked to that made me think I can beat this and I will be around to see my kids grow up, get married and have children. Happy thoughts are key to this fight!!!  So I left his office with a plan and a ton of appointments to make sure the cancer had not spread. 

FUUUUDDDDGGGGGGE!!!

Well that was my first reaction.  And my third, fourth and fifth.  You get the point.  I just kept repeating it.  You can ask my sweet mother in law, Gigi.  I would say that pleasant word and then apologize.  Then a few minutes would go by and I would say it again.  I didn't know what else to say.  I had breast cancer.

Let me back up and start from the beginning of this experience.  That's what it is right?  A life experience.  In December I found a lump in my right breast.  I promptly called my doctor who had me come in and scheduled a mammogram.  She was hoping it was just a thickening like last time.  The mammogram showed "something different" and that same day I was asked to come back for an ultrasound.  I wasn't worried yet due to the fact that this is the same process I went through for the left side and it was just a "thickening".  I had the ultrasound done and was asked to wait after.  Now my mind is beginning to race.  Let me give you a visual.  I am sitting in this little room waiting.  I am wearing one of the fashionable pink hospital gowns. In walks the ultrasound technician and radiologist.  They pulled up chairs and sat down a little too close for comfort in my book.  Guess what word went through my head?  They were now suggesting a ultrasound guided biopsy of not one area but three.  I really cant tell you what else they said to me past that point.  I went into flight mode and just wanted to leave.  I can tell you this.  It wasn't good.  I could tell by their body language and the way they were talking to me and the fact i felt like the radiologist wanted to reach out and hug me. He clearly doesn't know my personal space issues with strangers.  

I scheduled the biopsy and my sister went with me just in case i decided it was a better idea to stop listening and get the hell out again.  Seems to be how I react to bad news.  The same ultrasound technician and radiologist performed the biopsy.  I felt like I was on a date with the radiologist.  He asked me many questions such as "What kind of music do you like?", "How many kids do you have?", "What's your favorite movie?"  I was waiting for him after to walk me to the door and try to kiss me good night.  But in all honestly, both of them were amazingly kind and patient people and I am glad that they were part of this life experience.  I felt like I was getting the best care.  Now it was a waiting game.  They told me they would have the reports back in 3-5 days and would call then.  If you know me, you know how much I love waiting.  

So now we are back to poor Gigi listenting to me say fu*% every 2 minutes or so.  December 23, 2013 I got the phone call.  I have invasive ductal carcinoma.  Two spots in my right breast and my lymph node came back positive.