FUUUUDDDDGGGGGGE!!!

Well that was my first reaction.  And my third, fourth and fifth.  You get the point.  I just kept repeating it.  You can ask my sweet mother in law, Gigi.  I would say that pleasant word and then apologize.  Then a few minutes would go by and I would say it again.  I didn't know what else to say.  I had breast cancer.

Let me back up and start from the beginning of this experience.  That's what it is right?  A life experience.  In December I found a lump in my right breast.  I promptly called my doctor who had me come in and scheduled a mammogram.  She was hoping it was just a thickening like last time.  The mammogram showed "something different" and that same day I was asked to come back for an ultrasound.  I wasn't worried yet due to the fact that this is the same process I went through for the left side and it was just a "thickening".  I had the ultrasound done and was asked to wait after.  Now my mind is beginning to race.  Let me give you a visual.  I am sitting in this little room waiting.  I am wearing one of the fashionable pink hospital gowns. In walks the ultrasound technician and radiologist.  They pulled up chairs and sat down a little too close for comfort in my book.  Guess what word went through my head?  They were now suggesting a ultrasound guided biopsy of not one area but three.  I really cant tell you what else they said to me past that point.  I went into flight mode and just wanted to leave.  I can tell you this.  It wasn't good.  I could tell by their body language and the way they were talking to me and the fact i felt like the radiologist wanted to reach out and hug me. He clearly doesn't know my personal space issues with strangers.  

I scheduled the biopsy and my sister went with me just in case i decided it was a better idea to stop listening and get the hell out again.  Seems to be how I react to bad news.  The same ultrasound technician and radiologist performed the biopsy.  I felt like I was on a date with the radiologist.  He asked me many questions such as "What kind of music do you like?", "How many kids do you have?", "What's your favorite movie?"  I was waiting for him after to walk me to the door and try to kiss me good night.  But in all honestly, both of them were amazingly kind and patient people and I am glad that they were part of this life experience.  I felt like I was getting the best care.  Now it was a waiting game.  They told me they would have the reports back in 3-5 days and would call then.  If you know me, you know how much I love waiting.  

So now we are back to poor Gigi listenting to me say fu*% every 2 minutes or so.  December 23, 2013 I got the phone call.  I have invasive ductal carcinoma.  Two spots in my right breast and my lymph node came back positive.